Cold Toilet Seat
You walk into your office and drop your trousers. Your hiney touches the porcelain throne and you immediately realize that you may as well be sitting on a giant block of ice. The cold toilet seat is more easily noticeable, as the nerves in your tushie scream "DAMN THATS COLD." Let's analyze the ups and downs of a cold toilet seat.
The Good
-You know someone hasn't been on the toilet recently
-On a hot day, this may actually feel good
-There's something about a cold toilet seat that convinces us that it's a little cleaner
The Bad
-It's really cold
-It stays cold for a while, leaving our perky little cheeks to suffer for a few minutes
Warm Toilet Seat
The warm toilet seat can leave us with mixed emotions. It can either make us feel warm and tingly or more grossed out than a Jerry Sandusky shower. The instant our poop chute makes contact with the poop chair, a variety of thoughts are provoked. Who was here before me? Does this feel good? Should I go vomit? Let's evaluate the perks:
The Good
-It's like someone warmed it up for you, leaving you to feel special
-No need to suffer through ice blocks on your ass for minutes
The Bad
-Someone made the nasty just minutes before your arrival
-There's no knowing what anal symphony was unleashed prior to your time
-A warm toilet seat may be a sign of a lingering stench leftover from the previous culprit
When it comes down as to whether which one is better than the other, my vote goes to the cold toilet seat. The false sense of security and sanitation is comfort even if our donks must suffer through a blizzard for short period of time. To me, there's something about sitting on a toilet seat shortly after someone else as used it. It's like getting sloppy seconds on a hooker. A really smelly, poopy hooker. Covered in poop. Let me know what your stance on this debacle it in the comments or tweet at me.
@CanadaInAmerica
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