During the time my numbers are picked tonight (around 11p EST), I will be riding around downtown Columbus in a limo. (I'm actually not kidding on that) When I find out that I've won what is deservedly mine, I will instantly find the nearest cigar shop and buy the most expensive cigar there. I will then light it with a $100 bill and pay the limo driver to take our late night posse around to the finest bars and clubs. I'll buy a stripper at each place and add them to our posse. I'll probably right then and there buy one of the clubs I like and make it open bar for the entire place. There's maybe only a million or two dropped right there.
Once we are driven back in MY new limo, I'll pass out on my new memory foam mattress I ordered at the bar. I'll snuggle with my golden poodle tonight. Oh yeah, I'm buying a dog for my dog. Awesome, right!? I will wake up, take my routine morning poop, wipe with $100 bills, and take a golden shower. No, not THAT golden shower, but a shower made out of gold. I'll have one of my strippers sponge bathe me too while I read an issue of Forbes magazine. I'll get out and dry off with my brand spanking new full-body air dryer. They don't make them yet - I have the only one.
Since I'm not a greedy person, I'll instantly pay off my student loans, my parent's mortgage and any debt they've accumulated, and send like $10M for my family to split. Chump change, in my book. You can call me the Oprah of lottery winners. You get a million, YOU get a million, EVERYONE GETS A MILLION BUCKS!
After I'm done being nice, I'll probably buy the country of Greece. Why? Because I can. Gyros will now be called Jordanos. Greek food will then be called Jordan food. Back here in the states, I'll probably open a sweet club/bar with some sweet name that has yet to be determined and only hire the best DJ's in the world to perform. You're welcome, America! I'll go back home after my purchases to my new mansion.
Now, my mansion will include all golden toilet and showers, with rolls of $100 bills to wipe with, like I had previously mentioned. Each bathroom will have a bathroom, too. Why not? My living room will consist of a full wall which is a plasma screen TV, which is similar to the one Barney Stinson has in his bachelor pad. Memory foam sofas will line the room while sweet pictures of sweet shit will cover the walls. I'll turn on the TV and, wait, what's that? Looks my new team, the Los Angeles Lakers, are on TV tonight! Sweet! I'll run to my kitchen (which is conveniently a Chipotle/Cane's Chicken combo restaurant) and grab some snacks.
Once the game's over, we can head to my pool/jacuzzi that overlooks the city. We'll sip Dom Perignon while discussing our latest investments in Fortune 500 companies, of which I will be a board member of 6 of them. Of course, we'll be smoking stogies lit with our $100 bills. We'll converse about my new monument I erected in the town's downtown area. He's a handsome man, you know.
Finally, before the day is over, I'll have the P90X dude give me a workout personally while.... "enjoying" the company of the lovely ladies I brought over. They're nice girls, you should meet them sometime. I'll open the house up for a housewarming party that P. Diddy could only wish he could throw. Enough drinks to get the country of Finland drunk for 3 full weeks and enough Chipotle to send even the most strong stomached individual to the toiler three times a night. After everyone vomits and passes out, I'll have my branch of the local maid service come in and clean up while I enjoy watching my Lakers win again.
I only spent a 5th of my fortune too, and that's on a mild day. Imagine what every other day would be like....
@CanadaInAmerica with ideas from @XAD_13
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